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“Book Reports 101” (25 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “Book Reports 101” by Phillip DePaige.
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What country makes you shiver? (24 November 10:31) |
| Ryan: What country makes you shiver?
Bryan: What?
Ryan: Chile.
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“Let’s make our own Valentines” (23 November 10:31) |
| Tom Swiftie: “Let’s make our own Valentines,” Tom said craftily.
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Trust and the bank. (22 November 11:08) |
| Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why do we trust the bank with our money, but they don’t trust us with their pen?”
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A surgeon with eight arms. (21 November 10:31) |
| Josh: What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
William: What?
Josh: Doctopus.
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Why coyotes call at night. (20 November 10:31) |
| Sam: Why do coyotes call at night?
Nolan: I don’t know. Why?
Sam: Because the rates are cheaper.
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“Different Kinds of Sunglasses” (19 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “Different Kinds of Sunglasses” by Ray Ban and Oak Lee.
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Most important element. (18 November 09:51) |
| Teacher: Johnny, what is one of the most important elements we use?
Johnny: The element of surprise!
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“How to Drive a Train” (17 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “How to Drive a Train” by N.G. Neer.
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Wreath of $100 bills. (17 November 03:03) |
| Fred: Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?
Joe: This one is a toughy.
Fred: Aretha Franklin!
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“How to Identify Your Cattle” (15 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “How to Identify Your Cattle” by Brandon Steers.
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Daffynition: Paradox (14 November 10:32) |
| Daffynition: Paradox—Two physicians.
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A prison for night birds. (14 November 10:31) |
| Bob: What do you call a prison for night birds?
Joe: I have no clue.
Bob: OWLcatraz!
Bob: Who is OWLcatraz’s most famous prisoner?
Joe: Who?
Bob: OWL Capone!
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“The Best Skateboard” (13 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “The Best Skateboard” by Ella Ment.
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A mouse’s favorite game. (12 November 10:31) |
| Don: What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Ed: I don’t know. What?
Don: Parcheesy.
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“Smog” (11 November 10:57) |
| A book never written: “Smog” by Hayes E. Daise.
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“My walking stick broke” (10 November 10:31) |
| Tom Swiftie: “My walking stick broke,” Tom snapped.
“Good. Now you won’t complain about splinters,” Bob said sharply.
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Why the rolling pin was rich. (09 November 10:31) |
| Ryan: Why did the mixer think the rolling pin was rich?
Ryannah: Why?
Ryan: Because it was rolling in dough!
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“Collecting Knickknacks” (08 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “Collecting Knickknacks” by Bob L. Head.
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What the custodian wears. (07 November 10:31) |
| Jay: What does the custodian wear when he cleans the library?
Ray: What?
Jay: A dust jacket.
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“How to Do Mag Tricks” (06 November 10:32) |
| A book never written: “How to Do Mag Tricks” by Justin Illusion.
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Digging for fishing bait. (06 November 10:31) |
| Little Eddy and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.
“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she s... |
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A guy late for work. (05 November 10:31) |
| A guy shows up late for work, so his boss yells, “You should have been here at 8:30!”
“Why?” the guy asks. “What happened at 8:30?”
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“How to Stay Cold” (04 November 11:01) |
| A book never written: “How to Stay Cold” by Mel Ting.
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The turkey and the computer. (03 November 08:28) |
| Luke: What did the turkey say to the computer?
Will: What?
Luke: “Google, google, google.”
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A lion’s favorite music. (02 November 10:31) |
| Matthew: What is a lion’s favorite type of music?
Kenneth: What?
Matthew: Rock-n-roar!
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What the tree said. (01 November 10:31) |
| Greg: What did the tree say to the squirrel?
Amy: What?
Greg: “Leaf me alone.”
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“My Rise to the Top” (31 October 10:32) |
| A book never written: “My Rise to the Top” by L.E. Vator.
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A prince under a spell. (31 October 10:31) |
| A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in ... |
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Why the artist is mad. (30 October 10:31) |
| Mikey: Why was the artist mad at the museum?
Andrew: Why?
Mikey: Because they gave him the BRUSH OFF.
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Boy Scouts and honey. (28 October 10:31) |
| William: What do Boy Scouts and honey have in common?
Henry: What?
William: Their motto is “Be(e) Prepared.”
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“How to Do Magic Tricks” (27 October 11:06) |
| A book never written: “How to Do Magic Tricks” by Justin Illusion.
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Daffynition: Camelot (26 October 10:31) |
| Daffynition: Camelot—Where desert nomads park their vehicles.
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To fix a broken tuba. (25 October 10:31) |
| William: How do you fix a broken tuba?
Edward: How?
William: With a tuba glue.
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Why ghosts like elevators. (24 October 10:31) |
| Jerry: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
Woody: Why?
Jerry: It raises their spirits.
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“Sore Knees” (23 October 10:02) |
| A book never written: “Sore Knees” by Neal Allot.
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“Complicated Math” (22 October 10:31) |
| A book never written: “Complicated Math” by Paul E. Nomials.
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Elephant in a phonebooth. (21 October 10:31) |
| Lucas: What do you call an elephant in a phonebooth?
Marcus: What?
Lucas: Stuck!
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A chef and soda. (20 October 10:31) |
| Bruin: What do you get when you cross a chef and soda?
Bruno: What?
Bruin: Baking soda!
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Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pencil. (18 October 10:31) |
| Joe: Knock, knock!
Moe: Who’s there?
Joe: Pencil.
Moe: Pencil, who?
Joe: Pencil fall down if you don’t have a belt.
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A bird with a vegetable. (17 October 10:31) |
| Wyatt: What do you get when you cross a bird with a vegetable?
Jim: What?
Wyatt: A-sparrow-gus.
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“On the Road Again” (16 October 10:31) |
| A book never written: “On the Road Again” by C. Yalater.
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Large red flying ape. (15 October 10:31) |
| Adin: What do you call a large red flying ape that keeps coming back to you?
Hayden: What?
Adin: A boomerangutan!
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State with most allergies. (14 October 08:23) |
| Troy: Do you know which state has the most allergies?
Jimmy: No. Which one?
Troy: Mass-achoo-setts.
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“Scientific Forces” (13 October 10:31) |
| A book never written: “Scientific Forces” by Moe Mentum.
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What animal comes after beagle? (12 October 10:31) |
| Moriah: What animal comes after beagle?
Anthony: I don’t know. What?
Moriah: C-gull.
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What the hot fudge said. (11 October 10:31) |
| Scott: What did the hot fudge say to the ice cream?
Peter: What?
Scott: ”See you next sundae!”
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“I smell gas” (09 October 10:31) |
| Tom Swiftie: “I smell gas,” Tom fumed.
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Imagine you’re on a deserted island. (08 October 10:31) |
| Sam: Imagine you’re on a deserted island surrounded by sharks. No civilization in sight. How do you get off?
Pam: How?
Sam: Stop imagining!
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The kind of puns pigs make. (07 October 08:38) |
| Rich: What kind of puns do pigs make?
Mitch: What?
Rich: The wurst kind!
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