 | Boys Life - Children |
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What lights did Noah use (21 March 10:31) |
| Tyler: What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark?
Dave: Tell me.
Tyler: Floodlights!
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Knock knock Whos there Emma (19 March 10:31) |
| Jose: Knock, knock.
Julio: Who’s there?
Jose: Emma.
Julio: Emma, who?
Jose: Emma bit cold out here—will you let me in?
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“The Hardy Boys” (18 March 11:07) |
| A book never written: “The Hardy Boys” by Mr. E. Ryder.
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The hard-working centipede (18 March 11:05) |
| A man goes into a pet shop looking for a hard-working pet to do his chores. The owner says, “This centipede is the hardest worker you’ve ever seen.” The man buys the centipede. When he... |
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Parking at the gym (17 March 10:31) |
| Warped Wiseman wonders: “If people go to the gym to exercise, why do they fight for a parking spot close to the front door?”
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Wig factory truck crash (16 March 09:15) |
| Fred: Did you hear about the wig factory truck that crashed?
Barney: No, what happened?
Fred: I don’t know, but police are still combing the area!
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“Physical Education” (15 March 11:41) |
| A book never written: “Physical Education” by Jim Nasium.
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Glass of milk after a hot bath (14 March 11:31) |
| Joey: The cure you suggested didn’t work.
Doctor: Did you drink a glass of milk after a hot bath?
Joey: I couldn’t. After drinking the hot bath, I didn’t feel like having any milk.
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Did you hear about the egg (12 March 11:31) |
| Dan: Did you hear the one about the egg?
Derek: Yeah, that yolk always cracks me up!
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Daffynition Geometry (11 March 11:31) |
| Daffynition: Geometry— What the boy said when he was turned into an oak.
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A new hearing aid (10 March 11:31) |
| An old man was talking to his neighbor. “I just bought a new hearing aid,” he says. “It cost me $4,000, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
“Really,” his neighbor says... |
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“How to Get Your Way” (09 March 01:03) |
| A book never written: “How to Get Your Way” by Dick Tate.
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Why the chipmunk went to space (08 March 11:31) |
| Pedro: Why did the chipmunk go to space?
Boss: I don’t know.
Pedro: To find an astro-nut!
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Daffynition Illegal (07 March 11:31) |
| Daffynition: Illegal—A sick bird.
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Freeze at the drive-in (05 March 12:06) |
| Stephan: Did you hear about the two guys who froze at a drive-in movie?
Daniel: No. What happened?
Stephan: They had gone to see “Closed for Winter”!
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“How to Cross the Street” (03 March 12:18) |
| A book never written: “How to Cross the Street” by A.J. Walker.
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What instrument the Egyptians played (02 March 12:55) |
| Gregory: What instrument did the Egyptians play while writing hieroglyphics?
Joshua: I don’t know.
Gregory: The cymbals!
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Never feed a computer (01 March 01:17) |
| Ben: What should you never feed a computer?
Adam: I’m stumped.
Ben: Spam!
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“Tropical Getaways” (28 February 12:52) |
| A book never written: “Tropical Getaways” by Sandy Beech.
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Where French fries are born (27 February 11:31) |
| Bob: Where are French fries born?
Rob: Where?
Bob: Greece!
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How much is deer meat (26 February 11:44) |
| Joe: How much does deer meat cost?
Roy: Tell me.
Joe: A buck or two!
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What the teacher said to the chicken (24 February 11:51) |
| Ian: What did the teacher say when the chicken got all its work right?
Daddy: What?
Ian: “Eggs-ellent!”
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“Complete Idiots Guide to GPS” (23 February 11:50) |
| A book never written: “Complete Idiot’s Guide to GPS” by Miss Leading.
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What cows do on Friday night (22 February 02:47) |
| Chase: What do cows do on a Friday night?
Cordell: I don’t know. What?
Chase: They go to the mooooovies!
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“Its a Dogs Life” (21 February 11:31) |
| A book never written: “It’s a Dog’s Life” by Barry A. Bone.
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An evil procrastinator (20 February 11:31) |
| Bob: What do you call an evil procrastinator?
Rob: Beats me.
Bob: Darth Later!
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“Book Reports 101” (25 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “Book Reports 101” by Phillip DePaige.
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What country makes you shiver? (24 November 10:31) |
| Ryan: What country makes you shiver?
Bryan: What?
Ryan: Chile.
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“Let’s make our own Valentines” (23 November 10:31) |
| Tom Swiftie: “Let’s make our own Valentines,” Tom said craftily.
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Trust and the bank. (22 November 11:08) |
| Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why do we trust the bank with our money, but they don’t trust us with their pen?”
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A surgeon with eight arms. (21 November 10:31) |
| Josh: What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
William: What?
Josh: Doctopus.
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Why coyotes call at night. (20 November 10:31) |
| Sam: Why do coyotes call at night?
Nolan: I don’t know. Why?
Sam: Because the rates are cheaper.
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“Different Kinds of Sunglasses” (19 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “Different Kinds of Sunglasses” by Ray Ban and Oak Lee.
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Most important element. (18 November 09:51) |
| Teacher: Johnny, what is one of the most important elements we use?
Johnny: The element of surprise!
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“How to Drive a Train” (17 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “How to Drive a Train” by N.G. Neer.
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Wreath of $100 bills. (17 November 03:03) |
| Fred: Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?
Joe: This one is a toughy.
Fred: Aretha Franklin!
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“How to Identify Your Cattle” (15 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “How to Identify Your Cattle” by Brandon Steers.
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Daffynition: Paradox (14 November 10:32) |
| Daffynition: Paradox—Two physicians.
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A prison for night birds. (14 November 10:31) |
| Bob: What do you call a prison for night birds?
Joe: I have no clue.
Bob: OWLcatraz!
Bob: Who is OWLcatraz’s most famous prisoner?
Joe: Who?
Bob: OWL Capone!
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“The Best Skateboard” (13 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “The Best Skateboard” by Ella Ment.
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A mouse’s favorite game. (12 November 10:31) |
| Don: What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Ed: I don’t know. What?
Don: Parcheesy.
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“Smog” (11 November 10:57) |
| A book never written: “Smog” by Hayes E. Daise.
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“My walking stick broke” (10 November 10:31) |
| Tom Swiftie: “My walking stick broke,” Tom snapped.
“Good. Now you won’t complain about splinters,” Bob said sharply.
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Why the rolling pin was rich. (09 November 10:31) |
| Ryan: Why did the mixer think the rolling pin was rich?
Ryannah: Why?
Ryan: Because it was rolling in dough!
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“Collecting Knickknacks” (08 November 10:31) |
| A book never written: “Collecting Knickknacks” by Bob L. Head.
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What the custodian wears. (07 November 10:31) |
| Jay: What does the custodian wear when he cleans the library?
Ray: What?
Jay: A dust jacket.
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“How to Do Mag Tricks” (06 November 10:32) |
| A book never written: “How to Do Mag Tricks” by Justin Illusion.
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Digging for fishing bait. (06 November 10:31) |
| Little Eddy and his mom were digging for fishing bait in the garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mom.
“No, honey, it won’t do for bait,” she s... |
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A guy late for work. (05 November 10:31) |
| A guy shows up late for work, so his boss yells, “You should have been here at 8:30!”
“Why?” the guy asks. “What happened at 8:30?”
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“How to Stay Cold” (04 November 11:01) |
| A book never written: “How to Stay Cold” by Mel Ting.
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